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Arcana is both a collective name for me and my headmates, as well as the headspace we reside in when not interacting in the real world. We are plural, although we use our own terms. So, I decided to make this wiki-like page to help others understand who we are, how we operate, and what our inner world is like.

We use the word family for ourselves, not system.I've been plural since I was a child, which was before public social media existed. I did not learn popular terminology until my twenties when we'd already figured out what works best for us. I spent a long period of time not knowing what being plural meant and not knowing any other plurals, and I didn't confide in many because I was often not taken seriously when I tried to.Not all plurals use common terminology, and it's important to change the way we talk about plurality to include everyone who is plural. Many definitions say that plurals are referred to as systems, and those with differing terminology have been ignored. I've had that isolating experience.It's important to stress that you do not need a collective name to be valid. Many plurals do have a collective name, and the only reason we do is because we felt pressured by the community to have one to be valid, or to be able to participate. In hindsight, this should not have happened.All of that said, common terminology is valid, and we support all plurals, regardless of their origin or how they prefer to refer to themselves. I just want to start a conversation about inclusivity and making room for plurals who talk about their experience differently. It's already a difficult enough of a life being plural and navigating this world as a plural entity. We shouldn't be creating an environment where many feel isolated and alone like I did. We have to stop judging other plurals and gatekeeping based on what one thinks real plurality is or isn't.You can't possibly know a stranger's medical history or their life story. Instead of spreading hate and assuming the worst of others, just leave people alone and accept that some experiences may be different than yours.If you and yours have felt alienated by the community, or you've been targeted with hate or added to blocklists for simply existing as you do, I'm sorry. I've had one of those experiences, and no one deserves that. I welcome you and accept you and yours ♥If you need open-minded friends or just someone to talk to who can empathize, feel free to find me:Bluesky
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Headspace

The headspace, to us, is a small world internally where we live and exist when not fronting. Any of us can go inward and exist in this world, and the things we do there are often written as they happen since it's how I like to keep a record of things.There is a basic neighborhood structure. The large house on the hill belongs to a few of us that arrived first. Others have their own places, so there are a few smaller homes, as well as a funeral home where a mortician and his life partner live. A graveyard is where two spirit twins live, and there is a park.Not everyone in the headspace fronts or is an alter. Some just exist there. There are also locations outside of the neighborhood that exist as they are needed, and they are best described as little pocket environments such as Byleth's hospital room, look-alikes of the real world, and the vast void that is forever-changing and often used for meditations.Besides the specific headmates that live in the headspace, the world is otherwise populated by shadow men of varying sizes.

Headmates

Currently Around

Intermittent Appearances

Background Occupants

Zagan Lestan

Name: Zagan Lestan
Gender Identity: Cis male
Pronouns: He/him
Sexuality: Pansexual
Race: Vampire/demon
Age: 300+ (appearance is late 20s)
Role: Spirit guide/protector/soulmate

About

Zagan was once human in the eighteenth century, which didn't work out for him very well. He'd tried to escape Hell to get away from his curse, as he called it, of being a demon of lust who could turn water to blood and back, but his superior found him again after he was reborn.Zagan had left behind all memories of being a demon when he'd crossed over, so he was none the wiser to who the demon Zehro was. Zagan trusted him to have a solution to his biggest problem; his sick and dying sister who was very dear to him.Zehro promised a gift, but that gift put him right back where he was before he'd finally found peace. He'd become a vampire and was a human no more, and his memories returned. The first time he accidentally killed someone while drinking their blood, he left Zehro behind and disappeared.

I met Zagan when I was about twelve years old as Lestan, his human family's name. I'd been drawing at the time on my parent's front deck, and I'd drawn him. I don't remember much from then, as I didn't yet know I was plural, but meeting him changed my life. He helped me survive an abusive relationship in my teen years, and he taught me that love didn't have to be painful.As I grew into an adult, Zagan switched in often during sex with others. I still didn't know I was plural, so I wasn't aware of it. All I knew was that I didn't fear intimacy like I thought I should after being sexually abused, but a long-term partner began to notice it. It started as a joke, that he felt like he'd slept with Zagan, or that Zagan had somehow come out.Zagan is a spirit guide, so he isn't an alter like some of the others. Regardless, he can switch in just like the others, but it's very short term and for one purpose, and it's with me fully present. He is otherwise one of my life partners and provides emotional support, and he is never absent. He used to leave for short periods to do his own thing, but as I've gotten older, he's remained at my side a majority of the time.

Byleth

Name: Byleth
Gender Identity: Cis male
Pronouns: He/him
Sexuality: Pansexual
Race: Fallen angel
Age: Ageless (appearance is late 30s)
Role: Spirit guide/life partner

About

Byleth was once an angel in Heaven. He held an important throne and was respected by all, but disliked not being able to help humans or side with them. His main power was love, but he was unable to use it, so he began to question the purpose. He approached God and voiced his unhappiness, and he wanted there to be more peace between Heaven and Hell.He was cast out of Heaven for this and lost his wings. As a fallen angel, he grew horns that turned golden to show that he had maintained his royalty, and he became one of many kings of Hell. For a while he was averse to love in any way, and he kept to himself in his own corner of Hell. He rekindled his love for human sciences that he'd started to read about in Heaven, and he took a liking to medical science.During the 60s and 70s, he found a bit of his old self again as he fell in love with the era and its music. Ever since, he's embraced love in many forms, lust being one of them.

I met Byleth in the summer of 2016 while struggling with anorexia and a chronic stomach illness that wasn't yet diagnosed. I'd been writing a script for an animation starring him, as I'd found his name in the occult dictionary I referenced often for character ideas. I didn't read much about him other than a few lines, but when he appeared, I was surprised.At first, he was short-tempered and pushy. He often made sarcastic jokes at my expense without meaning to truly hurt me. A few were about my weight at the time, which was rapidly declining. He'd said them off-hand and didn't think much about it.Eventually, he tried to guide me to become healthier, and he attempted to be a voice of reason where I struggled. I worried constantly about my health and had panic attacks every night, some so severe I grew dizzy and feverish and ached all over.Byleth and I became intimate, and I realized I cared for him. He was unsettled by that at first, but he grew to feel the same, and as a spirit guide, he's been not only my voice of reason, but a witty source of humor when I need it the most.I've often joked that he's the dad figure in the group. With his love of the 60s and 70s and appearing the oldest of all of us, he just fits that role well. He was once mostly into women, but since he's been with Zagan and Darokin, he's acknowledged that he's truly pansexual.He's around as much as Zagan — 24/7. He's only switched in rarely in the past to interact with a friend who wanted to spend time with him, but otherwise, he's a spirit guide and doesn't switch with me. I wrote a book with him in it, but it's about my past. During the spring of 2020, I thought, 'What if I'd met Byleth when I was a kid instead?' He would have protected me from all of the bad things.There are some fictional elements thrown into the narrative of course, to make it interesting to read, but at its core, it contains a lot of my struggles with mental illness and abuse.

Darokin

Name: Darokin
Gender Identity: Cis male
Pronouns: He/him
Sexuality: Gray-asexual
Race: Demon
Age: Ageless (appearance is early 30s)
Role: Spirit guide

About

Darokin has mostly been a closed book. He's very quiet and private about his past, but from what I do know, he's a prince in Hell. He initially came up here to observe humanity, but he ended up staying once he'd become my spirit guide. He struggled with human emotions at first, as many demons do not experience many of them as we know them. He said they were contagious, which is is why most demons stay away or only visit for short periods of time.Darokin was, at first, not really big on intimacy and love, and he still is at odds with love. He's better defined as reciprosexual, which means he mostly experiences sexual attraction for another person if they desire him first. Otherwise, he feels gray-asexual fits him best. He may be aromantic as well, but he hasn't said either way.Darokin works with shadows and shadow entities, and he feels most alive beneath the moonlight. He's generally peaceful, calm, and collected, and he rarely becomes angry. Even when angry, he has a calm about him and his voice only becomes firm. He never raises it.He also enjoys Hinduism and meditation, and he is truly a spirit guide when it comes to spirituality. He encourages divination and rituals, which to us, involves pulling out tarot or oracle cards, lighting incense, and getting in touch with Darokin's shadow world. I've written more about that here.

I first met Darokin when I was in high school, and I think I was in my junior year — 11th grade in the US. I was in study hall and hadn't slept well the night previous, so I pulled out my notebook to doodle as I often did. I began to nod off but continued to doodle, and when I awoke, I'd sketched out a rough idea of his face and a jumbled version of his name. I believe this may have been my first time with automatic writing.I can't remember if he appeared to me after that, but years later when I was in my mid-twenties and still living at home, he came to me again. I'd stopped wearing my baphomet pentagram and tried to find healing with the light, and I'd been studying Wicca, which I never really connected with. My parents were verbally and mentally abusive, and I was at the end of my rope. I was also dealing with a malevolent haunted doll I'd been gifted, and I was having nightmares.When Darokin appeared again, I was glad to see him. He said he was a sign that I should return to my previous left-hand path spirituality and that I'd only continue to suffer if I turned my back on it. I was meant to be on that path, so I agreed and pulled my baphomet pendant back out. I felt like I'd come home.Darokin was a big help to me during bouts of paranoia and psychotic symptoms. At the time, I'd experienced my first intense sleep paralysis episode, and I was hyperalert due to living in an abusive environment, which amplified my symptoms. I ended up in the hospital a few times for suicidal ideation, and once for attempting.Darokin was always there. All I had to do was ask and he'd come with me into the bathroom to help me feel safe while I showered, and he gave gentle affirmation that there was nothing there to hurt me when I was home alone, that my fears of the shadowmen I saw were unfounded. They couldn't hurt me.He has a habit of making me answer my own questions with clever reverse questioning. He's brought me many enlightening spiritual experiences. I hope to one day learn more about him, if he ever wishes to share. I've written more about him and my spirituality here.

Vexis

Name: Vexis
Gender Identity: Nonbinary
Pronouns: They/them
Sexuality: Asexual/aromantic
Race: Eldritch entity
Age: Mid 20s
Role: Alter (past role - persecutor)

About

Vexis is nothing easily defined by human terms, but the best we've come up with is 'eldritch entity.'They were never human, although they'd wanted to be. They spent many years living through forgotten dreams as a human, and their final one was so memorable and traumatic that they clung to it. They'd been bullied for being nonbinary, and they slowly succumbed to a violent psychotic break. They had a shadowman accompanying them the entire time, and it was their only companion.They were sent to a hospital after the violent outbreak, and they tried medications, but they didn't like how it made them feel. They ended up jumping off of a bridge and drowned. Since they weren't truly human, this resulted in them landing in a strange void, and they were greeted by a Death figure.They ended up on a journey through a sort of purgatory. It was nightmarish, to say the least, but their shadowman was there throughout all of it. It finally revealed answers to them, and Vexis came to learn what they truly once were.They still wanted to be human, so they accomplished that in the only way they hadn't tried before. By living alongside one.

I wasn't aware of who Vexis was or that they were even there until I had a psychotic break of my own during quarantine in 2020. I felt that there was something there, an alter that I wasn't aware of. I realized I'd been writing about them and calling them The Voice for many years. They were The Voice that taunted me, encouraged me to harm myself, and showed me terrifying things. They were my tormentor, but for far longer than I realized.When I was a child, I had trouble with intrusive dark thoughts. As soon as they'd hit me out of nowhere, I'd dissociate immediately after, and then I'd have a panic attack wondering what in the hell had happened. Looking back now, it had been Vexis. They had been with me since birth, which was another unsettling realization.When I was born, I had a near-death experience. I'm not sure what I saw or experienced back then during that month I spent in the NICU on life support, but Vexis came to me. They told me this when I started questioning how far back they went with me while co-fronting. I'd been drifting in and out of a dissociative state to write their history, as dictated by them.When I looked back through my journals, I found a few entries that were very telling, and I suspected Vexis had stepped in during those moments. The moments when I lacked control over my own words, and everything that came out of my mouth was angry even if I hadn't been saying anything negative. I wrote that I felt like something else was in control, and I'd exist in a 'dreamlike state' for a day or two.Vexis doesn't front anymore, nor are they the tormentor they once were. We've come to a truce, and while they still have a penchant for creeping me out, they've also taught me to not fear the things that appear in my nightmares. They've even accompanied me during a couple of meditations into their void-like world.I wrote a book about us. I added in some fictional elements to make it interesting to read, but the story in general holds a lot of truth.

Shel Ghostie

Name: Shel Ghostie
Gender Identity: Agender
Pronouns: They/them
Sexuality: Androsexual
Race: Ghost
Age: 13
Role: Alter

About

Ghostie, as they like to be called, is a ghost. For a long time, they were locked in a dark room behind a door, which is located in a hall off of the attic — the place where memories and experiences are stored. 'The child that could have been,' Ghostie split many years ago, but neither of us are certain when. Their trauma causes them to experience confusing feelings such as hypersexuality that they struggle greatly with, and they freeze and shut down at sudden loud sounds.Ghostie is generally cheery and energetic, and they have a love for weirdcore, dreamcore, and liminal spaces. They also love music that's upbeat and will start dancing on impulse, and they are quite social to anyone who will talk to them.

Not much more is known about Ghostie. I first unknowingly revealed them sometime in 2021 when I ventured deep into my mind with tarot and oracle cards. It was when the door was unlocked, and I started to have more and more episodes of childhood regression that now happen regularly. Ghostie switches in the most now, and they do so by co-fronting or allowing me to be conscious of most of their time in the body.Ghostie has much more energy than I do, and they tend to wear out the body quickly. They aren't used to having chronic illnesses, so a short period of recovery time usually follows when they let me to the front again. They also tend to switch in without me realizing it, or it's a gradual switch that becomes total.They're kind and helpful, and they don't mind helping with household chores. They can feel my depression, however, but they don't experience depression in the same way. They usually try to be more positive, but when an episode of childhood regression happens where we are influenced by our trauma, they can behave irresponsibly with the body or become very emotionally upset, leading to unstable mental health. Thankfully, it's nothing too serious and we bounce back quickly.

Calubus

Name: Calubus
Gender Identity: Nonbinary
Pronouns: They/them
Sexuality: Androsexual
Race: Undead
Age: Early 20s
Role: Alter

About

Coming Soon!

Coming Soon!

Tetsu

Name: Tetsu
Gender Identity: Cis male
Pronouns: He/him
Sexuality: Gay
Race: Elf
Age: Late 30s
Role: Alter

About

Coming Soon!

Coming Soon!

Jack

Name: Jack
Gender Identity: Cis male
Pronouns: He/him
Sexuality: Gray-asexual
Race: Spirit (fragment of Death)
Age: Ageless (appearance is mid 20s)
Role: ???

About

Coming Soon!

Coming Soon!

Baalthazar

Name: Baalthazar
Gender Identity: Nonbinary
Pronouns: He/they
Sexuality: Asexual
Race: Half-demon
Age: Ageless (appearance is early 20s)
Role: ???

About

Coming Soon!

Coming Soon!

Shadowmen

Name: Shadowmen
Gender Identity: Cis men
Pronouns: He/him/it/its
Sexuality: N/A
Race: Shadow entities
Age: Adults
Role: Trauma fragments (?)

About

Coming Soon!

Coming Soon!

About Me

Name: Shane Lestan Blackheart
Gender Identity: Agender
Pronouns: They/them
Sexuality: Gray-asexual/panromantic
Location: USA
Birthday: October 22, 1988
Occupation: Disabled author

About

Hi, I'm Shane. I'm what I call 'the main,' in other words, this is my body and I'm the one who is present most of the time.I was born premature a few months early via c-section. The umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck and cutting off oxygen, and I was having seizures. They put me in the NICU and paralyzed my body with medications, and I remained there for the first month of my life.I was put on a temporary disability program for children for a little while as I grew into a child. I had health issues, such a midline cyst in my brain, repeated upper respiratory illnesses that put me in the hospital, asthma, and a panic disorder that often made me pass out. I had night terrors as an infant and developed a little slower than most children.I overcame the physical illnesses, and the midline cyst remained benign. A disabling panic disorder stayed with me, however, and I developed depression and agoraphobia while being bullied heavily at school. I started therapy and psychiatric medication at about ten years old after voicing suicidal thoughts.I have survived various traumas from childhood into adulthood, and am a survivor of sexual abuse and domestic abuse. I have PTSD, BPD, bipolar disorder, panic disorder with agoraphobia, depersonalization/derealization disorder, OCD, and ADHD. I am self-diagnosed autistic, which has been encouraged by my therapist since I can't afford a professional evaluation.I am disabled and chronically ill with dysautonomia, GERD, spinal stenosis, and possible fibromylagia.

Aside from my medical history, I'm an indie author and hobby artist. I'm pretty introverted and spend a lot of time homebound, but I'm on social media often where I get most of my social interaction. I've fallen in love with liminal space aesthetics, dreamcore, and weirdcore since I relate to a lot of it when it comes to dealing with derealization and depersonalization.My headmates who are currently around help me to cope, and I don't know what I'd do without them. Zagan Lestan was the first I met (although he wasn't the first in our headspace), and I was pretty young back then. He saved my life many times, and he showed me the beauty of what love could really be as I got older.Other than all of that, I love music and video games, like Baldur's Gate 3, Skyrim, Oblivion, The Sims, and various indie horror games. Nostalgia is something I get lost in a lot, so my favorite media is usually something from the 90s or early 2000s.Hopefully this page was fun to go through. Feel free to ask about any of us any time.

Other Information

More about my experience with being plural, as well as credits for any images used with permission.

When it started

I can't say exactly when it started, since my understanding of us has evolved over time, especially since there was one suspected to have existed from my traumatic birth. Vexis claims to have been here since, and they've allowed me access to bits and pieces of their story and how they came to me. I wrote about that in book two of my series, Open Wound, and there is a bit about that here on their profile.Otherwise, I remember clearly when I met Zagan, who initially was introduced by his human last name, Lestan. I was about twelve years old, and I talk a bit about that on his profile. I was doodling on the front porch and drew him for the first time, and he became a huge part of my life and helped me survive some nasty stuff. I cover some of that in the first book of my series, Everything Is Wonderful Now.The others appeared around the same time, and continued to for a few years to follow. Byleth is the most recent one that appeared to us as a spirit guide, and that was back in 2016 while I was very sick and stuck in bed a lot.During the pandemic that started in 2020, I delved deep into our headspace — into the attic where Vexis stays — with Darokin, Zagan, and Byleth. On July 22, 2021, I chose three decks from my tarot and oracle collection, one of them being the deck that belongs to Vexis, and it took me down the start of a journey I never finished, and for good reason. It just absolutely wrecked me, but it gave me a hint as to when and where some of us split. Ghostie was the most prominent figure.I recorded the session as it progressed, which I'll share here:

Uncovering Trauma.Revealing suppressed memories through tarot and oracle cards.Decks used: Cachet Tarot, Halloween Oracle, Scary Stories Tarot.Start time: 1:21pm.End time for part one: about 3:00pm.1. (Cachet) Nine of Cups, reversed. I would like happiness and prosperity, but currently do not have it or it is not attainable.2. (Halloween) Owl. “Wise-seeing; wise action.” This is a wise decision. I am seeking hidden knowledge. Owl eyes are large on this card, and eyes are very symbolic to me in understanding people and my trauma.3. (Cachet) Ten of Wands. Taking up responsibilities appropriate to the current cycle. I have the strength to do it, but don’t be afraid to ask for help.Let’s go deeper…4. (Halloween) Vampire. “Emotional intelligence.” I have a vampire soul. Zagan Lestan is a vampire.5. (Cachet) Five of Swords, reversed. Hard losses. State of great unhappiness. Hurt. Betrayal. Anger. “You know the reasons. You just don’t want to face them.”6. (Scary Stories) Five of Swords, reversed. Extreme hurt, betrayal, anger.The Five of Swords is important!Let’s go deeper…Daro unlocks a door with a key.7. (Halloween) Skeleton. “Strength.” Skeletons in my closet?8. (Scary Stories) Nine of Cups, reversed (again). Perhaps I feel happiness and prosperity was taken from me? (Side note; this is how Daro usually speaks. This may have been his intuition.)9. (Scary Stories) Nine of Swords. Nightmare entity? Nightmares. Sleep paralysis. Unrest.10. (Cachet) Three of Pentacles. Craftsman. Someone who developed a trade and is using their skills. Dad? Starting a business? Dad?Nine of Cups is important. The number 9 is also important.*Let’s go deeper…Zagan cracked open the door just a bit. I peeked inside. Darkness. Stygian darkness. Saw a faint flash of something. Heard whispers.While drawing cards from the Halloween deck to see what a glimpse behind this door was, I specifically wanted to draw the skull with the candle. Indeed, at random with the deck face down, I happened to draw a Skull of Darkness, the skull with the candle.A peek at what is behind the door…11. (Scary Stories) The World, reversed. Incomplete cycle? No progress. Not able to progress in the way I needed to. (Added; my opportunities in life were destroyed.)12. (Halloween) Ghost. “Regret.” There is a ghost behind this door. This ghost is trapped here? The ghost of my former self?13. (Scary Stories) Seven of Cups. A choice must be made, or a choice was made. There were many choices. Plural? Splitting? Meeting my head family? (Zagan, Cal, Jack, and Tetsu, and then later, Daro, Byleth, and Baalthazar.) Seven. I met my true family, my protectors who would protect me.Is the ghost who I would have been without the trauma? When I met my head family (Seven of Cups), I left behind a possible path in life I would have taken (The World, Ghost). A path was closed and I became ‘someone else,’ so to speak. I started down the path I am now on after the ‘who’ I could have been died.14. (Halloween) Skull of Darkness. The card my mind searched for frantically, all while the cards were face down and my eyes were closed. I needed it. There was an urgency. “Blind spots.” Trying to get a light in the room where the scratched-out memories are. But there are still blind spots. (Added; maybe I’m STILL trying to block out the memory due to fear, as the urgency may have hinted at. I was close.)15. (Scary Stories) Four of Swords. Rest and respite after the trauma — the trauma that still hurt but I blocked it out. The Skull of Darkness is still hiding the trauma (blind spots), and the rest and relaxation came after the Skull of Darkness.Skull. Skeleton. The head was removed? Strength is gone, but still holding on. The Skull of Darkness holds the memories?16. (Scary Stories) The Hanged Man. Sacrifices. Sacrificed myself? A painful sacrifice? A necessary, but painful sacrifice.17. (Scary Stories) The Tower. Complete destruction. Crisis. Meltdown. Crumbling after trying to hold it together.Did I try to commit suicide after the trauma? (Four of Swords, Hanged Man, The Tower?)Let’s go deeper…(It has remained cloudy outside despite the partly cloudy weather. Too dark. The sun was out before.)Zagan started shaking and got upset with hands still on the door’s edge. “It’s going to hurt! I don’t want you to hurt!” Daro moved him aside and took the door, inching it open a little more. Zagan yelled again, loudly, “It’s going to hurt! I don’t want you to get hurt!” He’s shaking. Crying. He lights a cigarette and Daro stands tall with the door.“Just a little more, I promise,” Daro says. A small bit of light spills onto the floor. Stone floor. The door is a medieval wooden one. Still stygian darkness. I get a flash of something. An eye? It was red. Illuminated. I sense tears. I see tears.Just once more for today.Sobbing.Bed squeaking. Metal bed? (Added; I had an all metal bed frame with bars, and porcelain flower bulbs around them, when I was a child. I also had a metal bed frame as a teen, but it would not have made that much noise.)Loud thump.“Reverse. Moving in reverse.”18. (Halloween) Invisibility. Not seeing it. Vanished? “Authenticity.”19. (Scary Stories) Queen of Swords. Mom?Did mom block out this memory? Did she gaslight me? Did she somehow alter the authenticity? Did she attempt to make me think something didn’t happen? (Destroying the authenticity.) She has a history of gaslighting me. (Added; also the possibility that she could have altered it to protect me.)Daro said that is enough for today.Zagan is relieved. He worries the truth will seriously harm me.We will continue later or tomorrow. I’m going to keep the cards drawn in order in their own decks so they can be remembered, replaced, and not drawn again to continue.

* * *

We decided it was best to not continue for now. My mental health is too bad and it could put me further in crisis or be a danger to me. We will do this again at a later date. I put all the cards back in their respective decks.

I've written a lot over the last few years about us, especially about Vexis since they finally revealed themself to me during the pandemic after one last, short period of mental abuse toward me. Much of that is on my side blog, Waking Dreams.And that's where most of my current introspection ends about us. It's always a subject I'm exploring, but at the time of writing this, in my mid-thirties, this is where it's all come together.

On my headmates' backstories

What I've come to learn about everyone comes in bits and pieces.At first, I knew very little about all of them, but over time, and throughout the years up until a few years ago, each of them have revealed a lot as I wrote about them and they clarified my theories or suspicions, or they just told me. Vexis, for example, revealed a lot while switching back and forth as we wrote their story, and it was an uncomfortable experience. We shifted in and out of derealization/depersonalization spells, and they co-fronted sometimes while I wrote, and I speculated at other times. It all happened over a couple of sessions, and I wrote about it here and here.Zagan's story was a difficult one for him to relive, but he managed to in order for me to write out a first draft of it. He agreed to let me turn it into a book, which I've been writing and rewriting since I was a teenager. Only recently has he revealed the truth about his identity that he'd tried to leave behind, but that will be included in his story as well, which finally pulled it all together.Byleth's story was something he told me from the beginning. It isn't something he tries to hide or is ashamed of, so it is what it is, more or less.The others are still coming to the surface, more recently Ghostie's, although their story is closely linked with mine because of who they are.The only one who is still a mystery to me is Darokin. He isn't very open about himself, and he's often quiet and reserved. I hope one day I'll be able to learn more about him, but until then, I can only speculate.

Experiences with doctors

Coming Soon

I can see them?

Coming Soon

Our Creative Projects

Often, creative outlets are a good way for us to interact with each other, as well as show others who we are. We've done this through audio — which was often recollections of our written conversations, video, drawings, and books.This page is a general place where you can see all of the projects we've done in regards to visibility.

We've made many videos over the years, some of which are on YouTube (from most recent to oldest):

There are currently two books out about us, as well as a short story about two of us (if you are struggling to afford books, please just contact me at [email protected] and I'll send you a code to get what you want of mine for free):

There are also a few blog entries about us that I (Shane) have written:

There is a lot of artwork I (Shane) have made of us, and you can find some of that mixed in with my art gallery hosted on my newsletter site:

Credits

Portraits made with the Picrew: Fantasy OC Creator by TheTwi.